Trust Me, I'm a BCBA: Reflections On Building Trust
Sometimes I like to talk about the things that seem pretty obvious. Things that—as clinicians—we say that we value. Yet, it’s still important to revisit these things. To occasionally reflect on them. To routinely attend to them—just to check in to make sure we’re doing the best we can do.
One such area is trust.
If you’ve been hanging around in the world of ABA for more than five minutes, you’ve probably figured out that trust is kind of a big deal. Whether it’s your supervisor, your organization, or your fellow BCBAs and RBTs, trust is like the motor oil that keeps this whole crazy ride moving. Without it? We’re toast.
Why Trust Actually Matters (Hint: It’s Not Just About Feeling Good)
Trust isn’t just about warm fuzzies and singing Kumbaya with your team. It’s not about happy hours. It’s not about getting together and “coming together” or “sharing”.
It’s especially not something you automatically get from a caregiver and a team. You can’t simply say “Trust me” or “Respect me” without some kind of rapport.
It’s about creating an environment where you can get things done without constantly looking over your shoulder or questioning everyone’s motives. Let’s face it: if you’re second-guessing your relationships at work, your head’s not in the game. And that’s a problem—especially when we’re talking about the delicate dance of working with caregivers.
Here’s a question for you: When was the last time you thought about whether the parents of the kids you work with actually trust you? If you sat them down and asked, “Hey, do you trust me with your kid’s care?”—what would they say? Or would they just stare at you like you’ve got three heads?
The Real-World Benefits of Earning Trust (AKA Not Screwing This Up)
Simple point: When caregivers trust us, magic happens. They’re more likely to give us the benefit of the doubt when things get tricky, like when that behavior reduction plan isn’t working quite as quickly as we’d hoped, or when that new skill isn’t clicking as fast as we expected. Trust buys us time—time to experiment, adjust, and find what really works. It’s the buffer zone that lets us do our job without feeling like we’re on a constant deadline to prove ourselves.
But trust isn’t just some practical tool we wield to get results. It’s also the ethical bedrock of what we do. When caregivers look to us for the well-being of their child, that’s a huge responsibility. It’s on us to nurture that trust, respect it, and keep it intact. It’s not just a box to check; it’s part of the job.
How Do You Actually Build Trust? (Hint: It’s Not About Being Prideful with Your ABA Knowledge)
Here’s the thing: the best BCBAs aren’t the ones who can rattle off every ABA principle in the book or bury parents in jargon. The best ones? They’re the ones who shut up and listen. Seriously. They don’t lecture caregivers on reinforcement schedules; they have real conversations. They get to know the family, understand their needs, and show up as an actual human being, not just a professional robot spewing data.
Got a new kiddo starting? Cool. Before you dive into the data sheets, consider—first—the avenues you’ll use to build trust. Sit down with the family. Listen. Show them you’re there to support them as a partner in the whole messy journey. Trust will follow—and when it does, you’ll be able to tackle those behavior challenges and skill gaps with a whole new level of collaboration.
So yeah, trust is a big freakin’ deal.
It’s a crucial domino in a long line of dominoes. It’s what makes our work possible, meaningful, and awesome. It’s the backbone of every conversation, every intervention, and every moment we spend with the families we serve. So, before you become hyper-obsessed with your learner’s behavior plans and data sheets—focus on and assess—first—the trust level you have with the caregiver and the team. Because at the end of the day, that’s what really moves the needle.
I want to hear from you: How do you build trust with the families you work with? Drop your thoughts in the comments, and let’s keep this conversation going.
Martin Myers is a BCBA with a passion for helping improve the field of ABA. He is the creator of BxMastery, with over 4,000 goal ideas, sequenced, to inspire your programming. With 10+ years of experience in the field, he’s dedicated to empowering others and fostering positive change through effective leadership and communication. Connect with Martin on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok for more insights and updates.