This week we finish out the remainder of our three part series on the BCBA/RBT relationship.
Two weeks ago we tackled rethinking how we look at the RBT position:
Last week we looked at ways to keep our focus on the telos of ABA treatment and how it improves things for the learner (and all of us):
This week I want to talk about an additional piece that ties it all together.
Relationships are important. This should go without saying, and anyone who has been reading my blog knows that I like to harp on this. A quality relationship between the BCBA and RBT can be the catalyst that drives clinical change with a client. It’s the fuel on the fire…the thing that can power everything.
One of the big mistakes we make as BCBAs is that we tend to drastically oversimplify our role and job responsibilities as BCBAs. We tend to think of ourselves as clinicians exclusively and forget that we’re professionals overall.
Why are we paid more than many of the other staff at our organization?
Why, certainly we’re paid to provide behavior analytic insight that the others can’t, right?
Wrong. Or at least wrong in part. We’re paid more because we’re expected to perform at a professional level that’s exceptional. Which means managing our time, documentation, and emotions at an exceptional level.
Most importantly—and pay attention here—it’s about managing our relationships with our colleagues at an advanced level—a level they may not know how to reach themselves.
As a result of the misconceptions above, we tend to fall short in developing our relationships with our RBTs.
I’ve often heard the following: They should just do it, it’s their job when referring to RBTs who might be underperforming.
Correct! It is—and it certainly is the backbone of the employee-employer relationship. There’s a service that they’re obligated to provide in exchange for a paycheck and continued employment. But we all know that healthy relationships don’t work that way. Next time you’re trying to motivate your significant other to do something, try that approach and see how it works for you: “You have to do this for me because you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife…so do it.”
The healthier a relationship is, the more likely they are to follow through with something. It’s usually love that gets this person to that point.
So how do we engineer a way for an RBT to feel that same way about their job? Well, there are a variety of ways to do so. But it starts with engineering a quality relationship between you (the BCBA) and them (the RBT).
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Martin. I’ve heard this all before. You’re going to tell me that I have to pair with my RBT just like I would my clients.
Yes! But let me expand. First—if this is what you’re thinking—you certainly have reason to be dismissive and frustrated. We’ve heard "pair with your RBTs like you would your kids” a million times.
But no one really tells you how to do that, do they? “Try Behavior Skills Training!”, they say! But when was the last time BST held a marriage together?
Plain and simple—and you’ll likely agree—there’s more to pairing and BSTing your way through this endeavor.
This week, I’m going to tackle that pairing process in depth. I’m going to suggest we not call it “pairing”, though.
Instead, we’re going to call this approach what it is: A series of conversations that lead toward a quality relationship. Below you’ll find conversations that you should be having with each of your RBTs on a weekly basis…like at every opportunity. These are conversations that pull them toward you, help you build trust, and build a lasting relationship.
Know/Ask about/Talk about their reinforcers. Ok…here we are again. You may have already heard this one before, too. But I’m not talking about those reinforcers. I’m not talking about how they like their coffee, what their favorite brand of candy is, etc. Don’t get me wrong, randomly dropping off a double iced mocha latte with skim for them on a Friday morning will improve things for you. But only by so much. If you don’t have their trust and you’re still just another supervisor, it comes across as maybe a little inauthentic and desperate. They’ll drink it—but why wouldn’t they? Random double iced mochas work best when you know their real reinforcers and have already talked about their real reinforcers with them to some depth. Let me break it down.
Know/ask/talk about their reinforcing people. Who are their most reinforcing people? Hint: It’s likely not you or the other RBTs. For most of us, we have people in our lives that matter more than anything and anyone else. These are our significant others, our kids, our parents, siblings, grandparents, and friends. In getting to know your RBT, get to know these people. Remember their names. Remember what they’re up to. By doing so, you’re pairing yourself with those individuals.
And then follow up.
How’s Steve’s new job? Does he like it so far?
How does Elijah like his new baby brother?
How’s your mom doing?
How are the kids doing in school?
Do you guys have any big plans for your anniversary?
How is that new puppy of yours? Housebroken yet?
Know/ask/talk about their reinforcing activities. What do they do outside of work? What is their favorite leisure activities? We all have favorite activities. Sometimes these are with our favorite people—but sometimes we like to do things for the sake of doing them. Sometimes we’re really passionate about it. Our RBTs are no different.
Follow up based on what they talked to you about previously.
How was the weekend? You said you were going hiking?
Did you see that new taco place down the street? Have you guys tried it out yet?
Have you been able to do any kayaking yet this summer?
Can’t wait to hear all about your vacation! Tell me!
Know/ask/talk about where they’re headed vocationally (if applicable). Some of our RBTs are going to be BCBAs. Some of our RBTs want to be SLPs, social workers, special education teachers. Some of them have entirely different aspirations. Sometimes they’re at the beginning of these long journeys, in the middle, or at the end of them. Whatever the case, these are important journeys that often produce a great deal of pride and anxiety from them. Don’t miss an opportunity to be part of the triumph and solution.
How’s school coming along?
Did you get that massive project figured out?
Any word on how the application process works? Let me know if you need a reference or any help with it.
Practice active listening. This is important. You have to be authentic when talking to your people. They need to know you care. And it’s more than you just saying that you care. It’s how you respond to them when they are talking about the things that they care about. For some of us, we may be a little bit more reserved in these situations. When we’re listening to another person’s story, we might not seem as present as others. That’s okay—but we need to show this presence. It works wonders in all of our relationships—especially with those that we work with. Here’s an easy hack to practice active listening, and you’ll notice that those RBTs who seem to be in their shell will open up a lot more.
Lean in. When people are talking to you don’t just look at them. Lean in juuust slightly. Seriously, try it. When your RBTs are sharing the details from an awesome weekend, don’t gawk. Instead, show them that you care—listen with anticipation.
Mirror their emotions. When people are telling a story, mirror their emotions as they tell it. It tells them that you’re along for the ride and you’re going around every corner with them. If they laugh, you laugh. If they show frustration, furrow your brow.
Ok, so give it a shot. There are tremendous advantages to working on your relationship with your RBT. First, it covers the two bases we talked about last week. We’re here to promote learner progress and uphold the value that each learner has. Happy RBTs do that! Second, everyone deserves to have a quality relationship with their supervisor. Sometimes it takes a bright and kind supervisor to show them the way. Lastly, it should be noted that a happy staff member makes your job easier too :-)
Then go out and buy your staff a little coffee…
*It’s important to note that we still need to maintain a level of professionalism when talking about the personal lives of others. Make sure to keep the topics and you interactions pleasant and professional. Finally, note that some staff may simply be more private than others and may prefer not to share certain information. Make sure to respect and honor this.