Three Lies Your BCBA Brain Tells You (And Why You Keep Believing Them)
I have bad news.
Your brain lies to you.
Constantly.
And the more responsibility you take on—as a new BCBA, a team leader, a person managing programs and people—the louder those lies get.
Now the good news is this: 1) You’re not crazy and 2) those lies are actually meant to protect you.
Your brain is a threat-detection machine.
It’s scanning your environment for danger as if you’re an antelope or wildebeest on the lion-infested, African savanna. And in the modern, “civilized” world, that “danger” shows up in the form of self-doubt, perfectionism, and anxiety. So your brain feeds you all kinds of stories.
In my beginner, BCBA years this certainly happened to me. It happened during my first years of management. And it still happens to this day.
My brain tells me stories and it gets me all riled up.
I figured I’d share the three common narratives I have noticed!
Narratives. Like…
1. “Am I doing this right?”
This is the first trick your brain plays: it convinces you that if you’re not doing things perfectly or if you have any doubts about how you’re doing things, you’re doing them wrong. It doesn’t matter if you’ve made a plan, followed a process, stayed up all night reading journal articles, or already considered 40 different programs—your brain still whispers, But what if there's a better way? You don’t really know what you’re doing, do you?
That whisper turns into noise real fast. You stop making decisions. You start searching endlessly for the “right” program, the perfect solution. You freeze. You wait. You think. You freeze again. It’s a special kind of torture called analysis paralysis, and I’ve been there more times than I can count.
Early in my career, I might delay updates to behavior plans, constantly second-guess myself, and even delay trying something new because I thought I wasn’t ready. In hindsight, my issue wasn’t knowledge—it was confidence. My toolbelt just didn’t feel full enough yet. But guess what? That’s part of growing. And sometimes, just making a move is more important than making the perfect one.
2. “I’m disappointing them!”
Here’s the next one. This one is interpersonal. Your brain starts telling you that everyone is quietly judging you. That your RBTs are disappointed. Your families are annoyed. Your supervisor is unhappy with your work and thinks you’re a total dunce. You become hyper-aware of every eyebrow raise, every email delay, every quiet Zoom call.
This one’s sneaky. Because it makes you see threats where there really aren’t any. Your brain convinces you that you're constantly letting people down. And before you know it, your day is clouded with social anxiety and self-judgment.
What I’ve learned? This is just another form of protection. We want the approval from our peers and supervisors. If our peers and supervisors are responding positively to us, then we think we’re doing a good job. So we end up always looking for approval from them. It makes us feel safe in our jobs. So, when we don’t get that immediate, positive feedback—whether it’s a smile, a head nod during our zoom call, or a quick text response—our brain goes into red alert. They aren’t happy with what you’re doing. They think you’re an idiot. Paranoia. Burnout. Resentment. Isolation. But, the antidote isn’t to ignore people—but to check the facts. Ask. Clarify. Don’t guess what people think of you. You’ll almost always be wrong (and way too harsh on yourself).
Give yourself some credit! These people like you!
3. “Look at this mess! Can you believe these people?!”
Finally, we’ve got the “this place is a disaster” thought. This one convinces you that the real problem isn’t you—it’s your surroundings. Your coworkers are late. Your supervisor is inconsistent. The whole system is flawed. The temptation here is to start micro-analyzing the behaviors of your peers and supervisors. And then to gossip about it.
The why behind this hyper-criticism of the environment or people around you matters.
Sometimes it’s true—this place and these people are a mess.
But, sometimes we bask in the glow of company chaos and drama when we feel like we don’t have it together.
Why is this? Well, your brain wants to constantly monitor and rank you in the social hierarchy at work. It wants to make sure you're not at the bottom. So it looks around to find imperfections in others. For example, If I notice errors in judgement on the part of my supervisor or coworker, it makes me feel less poorly about my own errors in judgement. This reminds me that I’m not in “last place”. Or, if I am, it’s not my own fault, it’s the system I’m in.
Of course, this creates a terribly unstable, unhealthy energy.
I start to get a weird relief when someone or something fails. My attention shifts away from doing the things that matter and more on looking for negative things. What’s worse, people start to pick up on this negativity...and then they distance themselves.
Not good!
It took me a while to notice I was doing this—and even longer to stop—but once I did, my work relationships improved dramatically, my happiness levels increased, and I became far more productive and effective
So yeah. These thoughts? They're normal. They're human. And they’re not going away anytime soon. But when you learn to spot them, label them, and pause before believing them—that’s where the magic happens.
Start by writing them down. Literally. Keep a thought journal at work. Notice the patterns. The tone. The timing. Once you bring those thoughts into the light, they lose their grip. It’s not about winning the war against your brain. It’s about understanding that your brain is doing its job—and then deciding if you’re going to listen.
You’re not broken. You’re growing. And your brain? It just needs a little help adjusting to the new version of you.
Martin Myers is a BCBA with a passion for helping improve the field of ABA. He is the creator of BxMastery, with over 4,000 goal ideas, sequenced, to inspire your programming. With 10+ years of experience in the field, he’s dedicated to empowering others and fostering positive change through effective leadership and communication. Connect with Martin on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok for more insights and updates.