You Want Me to Do What?! A Tip for Getting Buy-in From Staff And Families
Let’s talk about a reality that most BCBAs are familiar with: sometimes certain ABA programs are just too much for families and RBTs to implement. You know what I’m talking about. You come up with a program—whether it's a toilet training plan or a behavior reduction protocol—and you’re feeling pretty good about it. Then, you explain it to the parent or RBT, and suddenly, their eyes glaze over. They nod along, but deep down, you know they’re thinking: There’s no way I can do this.
That’s the moment you realize you’ve got a problem and need to adjust something. Or, at least, you should realize you have a problem.
Here’s the thing: when you ask someone to change their lifestyle—like taking their child to the bathroom every 15 minutes, or denying certain reinforcers that were previously always allowed—it’s a big ask.
And this isn’t usually an issue of comprehension—as in the understanding of the theory behind the intervention. Instead, it’s more so about the mental and emotional bandwidth required to actually pull off an intricate and labor intensive ABA protocol.
This requires us to think realistically. Most people won’t exactly jump up and down at the thought of rearranging their lives around a behavior plan that they may or may not believe will work. As a BCBA, if you don’t acknowledge that upfront, you’re setting everyone up for failure.
So, how do you navigate this?
My suggestion has always been a simple one: instead of dumping the whole program on them and hoping for the best, negotiate a time frame. Let them know you’re not asking them to commit to this forever. Set a short-term goal—maybe just a few days, or a week—and check back in to reassess. The real fear for most families or staff isn’t the program itself; it’s the idea that they’ll be trapped in this endless loop of trial and error with no escape. Do I really have to take my kiddo to the toilet every 15 minutes through eternity? By giving them a time frame, you’re giving them a "light at the end of the tunnel". This makes your programming more manageable and, more importantly, it gives them a sense of control.
When you do this, something magical happens. The family starts to realize that this isn't a lifelong sentence. They feel more open to giving it an honest try because they know there's an out if it’s too much. And often, once they start to see progress—whether it’s fewer accidents during toilet training, or a reduction in problem behavior—they’re more motivated to stick with it. At that point, what seemed like an impossible task suddenly becomes doable because they can see it working.
The other bonus, of course, is that you build trust and rapport. When you show the family that you’re willing to adjust the plan based on their feedback, they feel heard. And when they feel heard, they’re way more likely to follow through, not just in the short term, but the long term, as well. It’s a win-win for everyone involved. You get a more committed team, and they get a plan that actually works for their lifestyle.
So, the next time you’re faced with resistance, pause, talk to the family, and offer them a timeline that feels doable. You’ll not only make the program more successful, but you’ll also make life a lot easier for everyone involved.
Martin Myers is a BCBA with a passion for helping improve the field of ABA. He is the creator of BxMastery, with over 4,000 goal ideas, sequenced, to inspire your programming. With 10+ years of experience in the field, he’s dedicated to empowering others and fostering positive change through effective leadership and communication. Connect with Martin on LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok for more insights and updates.